How Talking about your fears somehow helps alleviate them

Isn’t it funny how some people seem to talk much more than usual when there’s something serious going on? Not everyone does, but I know that I tend to do that. Mine usually flares up in anticipation of something. So if I’m waiting on some medical test results, I’m usually talking up a storm with whoever is in the same room with me. If I’m waiting for medical updates on someone else, like a family member, then asking them questions and talking about their symptoms just seems to work. I know I’m probably driving that person crazy but they may not realize that it’s like a stress reliever for me, to be able to talk freely and educate myself on what’s going on.

I’ve done this recently, as one of my parents started to feel ill in multiple places. Until we could get more answers I would continually ask them how they were feeling, what their symptoms were, just a general quest for a status update really. Doing that basically tempered my anxiety and nerves for a little bit, rather than me going stir crazy. Thankfully it turned out that person is fine overall, just had a couple of things that needed to be fixed/medicated.

It’s funny to say it out loud, but talking to yourself about your own fears helps as well. I have anxiety, I’ve had it the majority of my life, since I was a toddler. It ebbs and flows depending on what’s going on around me, what’s going on in my head. I got to a point where I was letting my anxiety take control and throw me into panic attacks, panicked thinking. It got to the point where I needed to take medication, otherwise I would constantly insist that something was wrong with me and ask to be taken to the doctor. The medication I took helped to relax and be able to reflect on what I was going through, what specifically triggered my anxiety and how I could help ease it over time. After a few months I weaned myself off of the medication to try to handle it myself. I discovered that I could feel a panic attack coming and I knew I had to do something. One time, I saw in the bathroom and talked to myself. I just started talking out loud, pointing out the craziness of what I was thinking. I found that to be my secret weapon.

You see, I feel like with anxiety (mine specifically) you can have these thoughts and emotions come through and you feel like you can’t control them. That is because your brain has convinced the rest of your body, including your heart, that you are dying or that something is wrong. Your brain is making you listen to what it wants you to hear. When you speak out loud, your speaking outside of the brain and I think that’s important. When I speak out loud I tend to hear it much more clearly and I believe myself when I’m talking out loud.

New House, New Opportunities

It seems like every couple of months there is a lull in my posts, and that kills me every time. But this time, I do have a good reason for the delay.  After 5 plus years in apartments my husband and I finally found our first home. We were shocked to find out that we could afford a home of our own and jumped at the opportunity. Next thing we knew we were caught up in a maze of hidden costs, packing, moving and unpacking.  People always comment about moving into a home, how they hope they never have to do it again. I can kind of see where they’re coming from. Although I’m sure moving from a one story to a one story will be fine, it’s what we did, moving from a 3rd story apartment to a one story house. that made things difficult and more stressful.


It’s been a little over two weeks since we moved into the house and today marked the last day of inhabiting our apartment. We turned in the keys and drove away from the last 5 years, ready for what was to come in the next. It’s really bittersweet to leave those days behind. There were things that we hated about apartment and things that we loved. It’s just that eventually you reach a moment where it’s time to move on. You just have to grit your teeth and push through.

We’ve reached that point and now all we need to worry about is getting the rest of the boxes unpacked and get settled in. It’s still hard to believe we’re finally here but it’s finally settling in, day by day. I think the more we get unpacked and the more of our personality gets imposed on the ways and the rooms, it will feel more like home. It won’t feel like the apartment, it will feel like an actual home. Not liking the paint color? Guess what, I can change that whenever I want and to whatever color I want. I like that aspect of home ownership the most at this point.  It all feels good. it feels good to be settled down to the point where I can catch up to my writing again. I can actually think about things OTHER than fees, moving and packing.  Would love to hear everyone’s take on when they owned a home for the first time. 🙂

It’s good to be back!



Anxiety: Controlling That Inner Voice

This is just an interpretation of what it’s like when you have anxiety and basically have a mental conversation with yourself:

I can conquer this,

No you can’t, this is it,

I can maintain my bliss,

No you can’t you are sick.


Can’t listen, I’ve been wrong before,

Don’t have much time, it’s happening now,

You can’t keep doing this to yourself, not any more,

Can’t believe you’re not listening, wow.


Stop talking to me, feeding me lies,

It’s time to freak out, you know it’s true,

Trust your gut, it is more wise,

You’ll never win, I have hold of you.


I can do this, just have to breath,

You’ll never be rid of me, as hard as you try,

Any crazy thoughts, just ask them to leave,

Will try to torment you until the day you die.


Daily Prompt Word:


(Hopefully, a message of hope)

It is overwhelming how many things we have to remember on a daily basis. It is overwhelming how many things we have to be careful what we say and do. Pretty soon it will not be illegal or frowned upon to be yourself, your original self. Kind of grim and pessimistic, but hey, that’s where we are heading if we take humor, love, compassion, and intelligence out of daily life.

Laugh at yourself, you are a funny thing. You look funny, sound funny and the things that you do are funny. Realize what is funny to you and laugh. Find the humor in life because there is some. The world can be so overwhelming that we forget to laugh and giggle once and awhile. Plus, it burns calories.

Love yourself, love the ones around you. You don’t have an eternity here, so love your family, your friends. The body you’re in is the body you were meant to be in. Embrace it and take care of it because it will get you far. Find the parts of yourself that you love and learn to love the parts you’re not too fond of. The world can be so overwhelming that we forget to love who we are and the people around us.

Be compassionate to others. Everyone is fighting secret battles with themselves. Some people are up against physical or verbal threat. Try and see everyone in the same light, treat them the same. Everyone deserves compassion and respect. The world is so overwhelming that we forget to see past someone’s exterior and to care for our fellow-man.

Be intelligent. Seek knowledge, seek truth. Don’t stop filling your head with information. Knowledge is powerful and useful. Knowledge is beautiful and desirable. The world is so overwhelming that people forget that they still need to learn. They still should want to gain knowledge and information, for that is what makes us stronger.

The world is overwhelming, life is overwhelming. We have to acknowledge that it’s not supposed to be easy or beautiful. It’s supposed to be challenging, eventful. That is what makes it all worthwhile, the journey.

Daily Prompt Word:


Open Discussion on Anxiety-Part 2

This past weekend I had another anxiety attack. That makes two this month. A few years ago I was diagnosed as having anxiety. It was so nice then to finally put a name to what I was going through, what I had been going through for a long time. It all made sense once there was a name to it. But that’s not entirely accurate. I’m still trying to understand anxiety and how I can alleviate it. I don’t believe there’s any getting rid of it, but I know I can take steps to ease it to an almost obscure level. I’m still working on this, so it’s a work in progress.

It’s hard to get people to understand anxiety. People automatically think it’s something controllable, or that you must be scared of everything, easily spooked. That’s not the case. Some people have certain triggers that make them anxious more than other things. We’re not necessarily constantly scared, we can just become really anxious in certain situations or when something specific happens.

Once the panic attach is intent on coming, it can’t be stopped. The attacks sometime can come without warning or sympathy. The trick is to remind yourself who you are, what you’re going through and that everything will be fine. It’s like your mind is whacking out and that same mind has to try and convince it to calm down. It can be confusing right? I’ve learned a lot, but I don’t believe I’ve learned everything there is about anxiety. I can’t predict an anxiety attack but I can feel it coming, by then it’s unstoppable. The attack will come, you just have to decide how you will handle it, how much control you will let it have. At this point of realization I try different exercises, slow/calm breathing, talking aloud about what I’m going through.

If I had to describe the feeling of an anxiety episode, it’s like riding out a bad storm. You just hang in there doing your exercises and then eventually the sun will come out, the episode will subside and you will feel like normal again. That’s really the best part, because before that you feel like the world is ending or that you’re not going to last through it. That may seem silly to most, but that is the brain tricking itself. It tells you that something is wrong, makes you feel like your heart is beating fast and that you can’t breathe. It’s all in the brain. The brain is a truly beautiful and wonderful thing but it can cause you to see things that aren’t there or to feel something happening that is simply not happening. All we can do is try and explain it to other people, but it’s tough because the brain and the entirety of its power is still a mystery. We just have to be patient.

Open Discussion on Anxiety

Anxiety has been one of the toughest fights of my life, ironically one of the toughest in my life is against myself. I’ve always been anxious as a child but it’s steadily became more and more of a problem as a I grew up. I didn’t know what it was or whether I was just crazy. I didn’t know what to do or that there was anything you could do. I didn’t really talk about it because I figured people would think I was crazy, so I dealt with it myself internally for a number of years. About 9 months to ago, I realized that I no longer had control over what my head was doing. About a year ago, I was getting sick a lot, colds, etc. Every time I felt ill or frustrated from an illness I would get panic attacks. Luckily I never went to the ER, I wanted to, I always called my doctor’s office and either spoke to a nurse or on-call physician.

From July 2014 to September 2014 I had a series of scares that led me to my doctor’s office each time. I would be sitting at my desk and next thing I knew I was sweating, heart was beating fast and just felt like I needed to get out, get help. Another incident was when I was driving I started to feel like I was having a heart attack. I had the nurse on with me from my doctor’s office to help talk me down. My latest was in September 2014 when I felt like my lungs were expanded and getting poked by my ribs. The doctor after that visit discussed trying me on some medication. Ever since then it has been helping me keep the calm. My grandfather passed about a month after I started taking it, so I am glad I was on it at that time, to help soften the blow (if at all possible). I plan to wean off of it soon, but wanted to share some of my story. I want people to understand that medicine isn’t the answer, it helps when you need it, to help stabilize the erratic thoughts in your head.

I’ve had an interesting journey, have found some ways to relieve tension and anxiety. Besides writing I do like to read. It helps to find something to distract your busy mind, at the end of the day.