Anxiety has been one of the toughest fights of my life, ironically one of the toughest in my life is against myself. I’ve always been anxious as a child but it’s steadily became more and more of a problem as a I grew up. I didn’t know what it was or whether I was just crazy. I didn’t know what to do or that there was anything you could do. I didn’t really talk about it because I figured people would think I was crazy, so I dealt with it myself internally for a number of years. About 9 months to ago, I realized that I no longer had control over what my head was doing. About a year ago, I was getting sick a lot, colds, etc. Every time I felt ill or frustrated from an illness I would get panic attacks. Luckily I never went to the ER, I wanted to, I always called my doctor’s office and either spoke to a nurse or on-call physician.
From July 2014 to September 2014 I had a series of scares that led me to my doctor’s office each time. I would be sitting at my desk and next thing I knew I was sweating, heart was beating fast and just felt like I needed to get out, get help. Another incident was when I was driving I started to feel like I was having a heart attack. I had the nurse on with me from my doctor’s office to help talk me down. My latest was in September 2014 when I felt like my lungs were expanded and getting poked by my ribs. The doctor after that visit discussed trying me on some medication. Ever since then it has been helping me keep the calm. My grandfather passed about a month after I started taking it, so I am glad I was on it at that time, to help soften the blow (if at all possible). I plan to wean off of it soon, but wanted to share some of my story. I want people to understand that medicine isn’t the answer, it helps when you need it, to help stabilize the erratic thoughts in your head.
I’ve had an interesting journey, have found some ways to relieve tension and anxiety. Besides writing I do like to read. It helps to find something to distract your busy mind, at the end of the day.